Although it’s eventually inevitable for most people, nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to lose the person who gave you life.
Losing a parent is a heartbreak that changes every single part of your world. It’s not just the fact that they are no longer physically here, it’s the way we long for them, the way we still need them, no matter how much time has passed..no matter how old we get.
It’s realizing that you’ll never hear them say “I’m proud of you” again. It’s the knowing that you’re never going to get that text that says “Drive safe” again. It’s the never feeling their arms around you on your worst day again.
and yet somehow...our lives still go on.
and I think that may be the part that hurts the most.. when the world keeps moving, even though yours feels like it has stopped. You feel stuck in the moment when you last saw their face, or heard their voice, or saw their smile.
People check in at first, but eventually they stop asking how you're doing. They assume time has done its job. They assume that you’ve “moved on.”
But grief doesn’t move on. It moves in and it becomes so much a part of who you are.
And what I wish people knew about grieving a parent is that it isn’t just about missing them. It’s about missing the life you had with them, the life you wish you still had with them. It’s about all the things they won’t be here to see. It’s about the birthdays, the holidays, and random weekdays when you just want to call them up to chat.
It’s the way your heart hurts so bad when something good happens and they’re not here to see it. It’s the way that when they are gone, you realize that no one in this entire world will ever love you in the way that they did.. unconditionally and without condition.
and there’s a loneliness in losing a parent that never fully leaves, a void that can never be filled. Something so important will always be missing. They were your first home. Your safe haven, your biggest fan and you are left here to carry on their legacy.
So, if you know someone who has lost a parent, I hope you check on them no matter how many months or years have passed. I hope you speak their parent’s name. I hope you let them know that it’s okay to remember, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to talk about them.. because grief has no expiration date and time does not heal all wounds.
And if you’re reading this with a broken heart of your own, just know that I see you, I understand you, I feel your pain and sorrow, and I know how heavy this life is without them..
Your grief is a reflection of the love you had for them, the love you still have for them.. and the fact that you miss them this deeply says everything about how much they meant to you.
You are still a part of them, and they will always be a part of you.
I hope you live a life that would make them proud. I hope you give yourself grace on the hard days and keep going on the quiet ones. I hope you remember that they are never truly gone.. just carried now, in a different way.
And I hope you never forget that your love didn’t end with goodbye because a love like really has no end.
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