There is nothing that can ever place the love from your Mother. May 27th will mark ten years since my beautiful 48 year old mother was taken from this world. Ten years that flew by, yet ten years that have felt like a lifetime without her. I don’t miss her today any more than I do every other day and I will never, ever love her any less. I can still remember the very moment my mother took her last breathe as I grabbed her hand and told her how much I loved her. I can still remember the panic in the hospital room as the lung cancer stopped her heart from beating. And I can still remember going home that night with the heaviest heart. I didn’t want to wake up the next morning, or the morning after that, or the one after that.
The emptiness inside of me was more than I could bear and knowing It wasn’t all just a nightmare made it even worse. How could this have happened? I was only 24, she was only 48. I thought she would be here to see me one day buy a house, or get married, or have children. But sadly she won’t be and sadly sometimes life deals you unfortunate hands and you wish you could just turn the cards in and start all over.
They say that when one person is missing from your life, that the whole world seems empty. My world will never be fully complete without her here and I hate that the years go by so fast. I would have done anything in my power to save her life. But cancer can happen fast and cancer doesn’t let you decide whether you live or die, no matter how strong you are.
As this May starts the firsts of my tenth year without her, I will for the rest of my life continue to look for her face in a crowd, I will continue to relate everything I see to her, I will continue to honor her, remember her, and most importantly I will continue to cherish the memories I’ve made with her and the 24 years I was lucky enough to have her.
But despite all of that... to lose your mother, well that is like losing your entire world.