My mother was just 48 when I lost her. I was 24. In a way we knew that it was coming. She had stage four lung cancer and it was only a matter of time until I would have to face the heart breaking reality of losing her at a young age. I realized she would not be there to ever see me or my sister get married nor would she ever get the opportunity to be a grandmother. She wouldn’t be around to celebrate 30 years of marriage with my father and she wouldn’t be there to help me through the troubles most 24 year olds have along the way. I think of her every single day, she is the first thought on my mind the minute I wake up and she is the last thought before I lay my head down to go to sleep.
Through the heart break, change, and devastation I have learned some key points that will help me along with several others on the healing journey.
1. Nothing lasts forever.
Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness always comes light and you get reminded of this each and every morning. Bad times make good times better. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad, So we all might as well smile while we are still here.
2. Love is stronger than death.
My relationship with my mom continues on each and every day and will for the rest of my life. I see pieces of her in myself every time I look in the mirror. She lives on through me. When I hear mine and my moms song “Some Kind of Wonderful” by Grand Funk Railroad I feel as if we are together. Physical planes cannot separate love and i know this to be true.
3. It will forever be a part of who I am.
4. Memories are gold. (Seriously. Cherish them.)
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5. Some things will just always be out my control.
6. Music heals.
I personally love music, I love songs with deep meanings. One song that makes me smile when I am feeling down is “Footprints in the Sand” by Leona Lewis. Whenever I hear it, it reminds me that my mom will be right next to me for the rest of my life, not physically but I know her spirit will continue to follow me.
“Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.” – Elton John
7. Life is for the living, So live it.
After a tremendous loss I’ve heard of many people losing themselves or getting caught up in the bad rather than the good. I often find myself doing certain things and I think how unfair it is that my mom isn’t here to enjoy the little pleasure that life brings. I also look at it as more a reason to go out and live. I do the things she loved to do, I do the things I love to do, more so now than ever. Life is just too damn short.
8. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
After my mom passed away I felt a strong urge to share her story with anyone who would listen. I even went as far as writing and publishing a book. I figured if I could make it though the worst time of my life than i could help others do the same. I’ve had random messages online from people telling me how inspiring my mothers story is, I’ve had strangers come up to me and tell me I’ve helped them through a loss and this is the most rewarding of it all. Through my book I hope to continue to inspire many more.