10 Years After Losing My Mom

10 Years After Losing My Mom

10 years?! I sometimes cannot even believe that I have made it that many years without her in my life. I was 24 when she died, she was just 48. Never in a million years did I think my perfect world would be turned upside down when she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer back in 2012. She was so vibrant, so full of life.

Only ten short months later she passed away. I remember waking up the day after she died and immediately sobbing. It felt like a horrible nightmare.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I would never physically see her again, and how different my life was about to become.

Losing your mother is one of the worst things in the world. How do we go on after losing the someone who loves us unconditionally? How do we rearrange our minds to live this new “normal”? How do we even accept the fact that they aren't with us? There are so many questions I still don't have the answers for.

The days passed by, those days turned into weeks, those weeks turned into months and here I am – almost one entire decade after losing her. The time went so fast but so slow all at the same time. I realized not only was I so sad for myself but I was more so sad for all she has missed. She wanted so badly to be here to see me and my sister live out our lives. 

They say time heals all wounds but time doesn’t heal anything. Time forces us to go on, forces us to live a new life without them here. It’s a daily struggle to hold on to all the memories you never want to forget.

To this day I still strive to honor my mother. I still talk about her to all who knew her and those who didn’t. I am proud to have had such a great person in my life for 24 short years. Some people don’t receive that much love in a lifetime.

To my mom, although it’s been 10 years without you physically here, I still miss you every single day. I still cry for you and wish for you. I still remember the warmth of your hug, the laugh, the moments, and all that you did for me. I’ll love and miss you forever.

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